Legends And Rituals

From The New York Times about a week ago:"According to a study... boomer households account for unexpectedly high percentages of sales of products considered mainstays of younger consumers. That includes beer, 59.7 percent; carbonated beverages, 58.9 percent; and candy, 54.2 percent..." To the enlightened readers of The Ad Contrarian, this should not be surprising. On many occasions we pests here

Death Fatigue

Despite all the lurid headlines, pardon me if I don't get too hysterical over swine flu.You see, I'm living on borrowed time. I'm playing with house money.By now, I should have been long dead from SARS, or bird flu, or mad cow disease, or ebola virus, or Legionaire's disease. You remember those, don't you? They were the other "pandemics" that were going to kill us all.They didn't actually do the

Advertising And The Universe

As regular readers of this blog know, I'm a former science teacher.The downside of that for you is that every now and then I have to sneak in a little science lesson.Today we're going to talk about the universe.You know that stuff you learned in school about how everything is made of atoms, and atoms are made of neutrons and protons and electrons, and there are four types of forces, including

Play It Loud

Stop what you're doing and watch this.

Yesterday's News Today

Here at The Ad Contrarian, we try very hard to stay at least a year behind the times.We do this to gain some perspective and avoid looking like the fools who 9 months ago assured us that Facebook apps were the new greatest thing ever, and widgets would change the world.Today, we are going to talk about the news, and why it's so much more beneficial to read last year's newspaper than today's.You

Brand New Look. Same Old Bullshit.

Here at The Ad Contrarian world headquarters, we've been getting mighty tired of looking at the same old ugly layout every day.So we told a team of designers to work on a bold, daring new look.Unfortunately, all they could come up with was this.Whether you're a fan of the old look or the new one, one thing we'll never compromise is our longstanding dedication to bringing you the best

Across The Twitterverse

I checked today to find out what's being said about this blog in the merry old land of Twitter. Here's a sampling:"Ad Contrarian = occasional smart thinking awash with a hatred for the universe." Not true. It's only the inhabitants of one little planet I don't particularly care for. The rest of the universe is awesome."Love the Ad Contrarian even though he hates everything I love.""The only

Fish Still Can't See Ocean

One of the unpleasant parts of blogging is the number of comments you get from abusive imbeciles.I guess it's to be expected, but when you see it, it's still unsettling.There's a whole hoo-hah going on at some of the ad blogs lately over the viciousness of commenters, particularly anonymous ones. For some background, check out this from Alan Wolk guest blogging at Agency Spy.I don't have the

I Was Hoping For A Centerfold

Yesterday, the great David Burn of AdPulp posted an interview with your charming host. That's me, by the way. Here it is.

Dracula Visits The Blood Bank

Earlier this week I was invited to a conference to participate in a panel about social media. Bad casting, or what?The good news is that the panelists were all smart and articulate and we kept the digi-babble to a minimum.Panelists were all bloggers -- John January of American Copywriter, Kristin Gissaro of TalentMash, Jason Falls of Social Media Explorer, and Andy Gould of Small Agency Diary,

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

1. The hotter the climate, the colder the conference room.2. The smaller the account, the larger the committee.3. The dumbest person in your agency will someday be your client.4. The consumer has become resistant to marketing, right? Bullshit. Here’s what the consumer has become resistant to: generic, undifferentiated products supported by smug, benefit-free advertising.5. Retailers have learned

A Dead Kind of Car Company. A Dead Kind of Car.

Advertising that is really good gives you a reason to prefer a product when there is no reason.That's what Hal Riney did with Saturn.He took a mediocre vehicle from a sclerotic manufacturer, and brilliantly turned it into a desirable quantity. He did it with his unique blend of plain-talk, humor, beauty, and bullshit.At one point Saturn had owners from all over the country driving to Spring Hill

It's Vegas, Baby, And Your Nose Knows

I've spent the last few days at a business meeting in my least favorite place on Earth -- Las Vegas. Some observations:Those who think advertising is dead should come here and see the future. Every square inch is covered in promotional material.The average tourist in Las Vegas is a 60-year-old woman, 30 pounds overweight, wearing a tank top.Las Vegas has a bad version of every good restaurant in

Someone's Gotta Do It

Lately this blog has managed to piss off just about everyone.It pissed off account managers with this:"I learned very early that my interpretation of the meeting was usually better than what was written up in the notes and the brief."It pissed off creatives with this:"Does this mean it’s impossible to create advertising that rises to the level of art? No. Every generation has a few people who

Ad Awards Are A Good Thing

I've been listening to all the arguments for and against advertising awards for a hundred years. Count my vote as a yes.Here's why. Creative people get surprisingly little satisfaction from their work. If they can get some from an award, it's a good thing.Nobody who has not worked in a creative department understands how hard it is or how much it takes out of you. No matter how good the final

I Never Argue With Graphs

"Ad Contrarian," people often say to me, "how come you're always so relaxed and nonchalant while the rest of us are so aggravated?"

I say, "Sit down my friend and let's talk." Then I light my pipe, kick off my slippers, and lean back in my rocker.

"We humans have been around this sorry planet for about 200,000 years. The planet has been around for 4.5 billion years. So what measure of the

Some Thoughts For Freelancers

At one point in my career I spent three years freelancing.In lousy economic times you'd think freelancers would do well. Agencies can hire them on a part time basis and save the added costs of full-time employees. (Health insurance, unemployment insurance, and other benefits can cost add up to 35% more for a full-time employee.)Nonetheless, in bad economies, freelancers do lousy.Freelancers have

The Emperor's New Podcast

You remember podcasting don't you?It was the first of the over-hyped social media genres. Turned out to be just one more marketing thing that was going to change everything. Closely followed by Second Life and MySpace and Facebook.Here's the thing about social media -- it's all just electronic pen pals. Have you ever thought of pen pals as a promising advertising medium? As a marketing

The Thing That Will Change Everything

Marketing and advertising people always overestimate the impact of new things and always underestimate the power of traditional consumer behavior.Memorize that sentence.My first experience with this phenomenon came with the advent of cable TV. When it was first introduced there was a flood of hysteria in the ad world about how cable would "change everything." Clients were going around to

I'm Tired Of Strategists

I'm sick and tired of strategists.Can you please send me some people who can do shit, not talk about it.Da Vinci didn't need a strategist. Neither did Newton. Or Einstein. Or Gershwin. Or Hitchcock. Or Riney, for that matter.They just did brilliant things. They didn't need people chattering at them about what they should do or how they should do it. They just did it.I'm tired of business

Opening Day

The economy is in the toilet. The ad industry is a disaster. Asteroids are heading toward Earth. Web pornography is warping the minds of our children. Grown men and women are relentlessly Tweeting each other.Yes, my friend, the end is near.But who gives a shit?It's Opening Day. I'm going to have a hot dog and a beer. I'm going to sit in the sunshine till the back of my neck is red and raw and my

Randomonium

I was raised in New York City where people are annoying but tough. Now I live in California where people are pleasant but insane.OK, Maybe TV Is Dead The New York Times reported yesterday that The Guiding Light has been canceled by CBS. The Guiding Light has been running continuously for 72 years. It started in 1937 on NBC radio and then moved to CBS TV in 1952.The Tree Is Proud Of The Applehey

Report: Everything Officially Dead Except The Web

NEW YORK -- Officials at the Online Institute of Life and Death reported today that everything except the internet is now officially dead. The Institute released a partial list of dead things:Television is deadNewspapers are deadAdvertising is deadMagazines are deadGod is deadPaul is deadHidden Valley Fiesta Ranch Dip Mix is deadGrateful is deadDeath itself is deadEverything else is deadTo make

Why There Are So Many Stinky Ads

You're not going to get into too many fights if you contend that most of the ads we have to endure are pretty stinky.Just about every ad looks like something you've seen before, sounds like something you've heard before, or smells like something you've done before.There are a whole lot of theories about why this is so. Most of them center around the unwillingness of agencies or clients to take