Opening Day

The economy is in the toilet. The ad industry is a disaster. Asteroids are heading toward Earth. Web pornography is warping the minds of our children. Grown men and women are relentlessly Tweeting each other.Yes, my friend, the end is near.But who gives a shit?It's Opening Day. I'm going to have a hot dog and a beer. I'm going to sit in the sunshine till the back of my neck is red and raw and my