Stalinism By The Bay

Thanks to Jay Tannenbaum for the idea for today's blog.When people fell out of favor in Stalinist Russia, they would be shipped off to Siberia and their likenesses would mysteriously disappear from official photographs. One day they'd be standing with the inner circle, next day the photo would be doctored to remove them.The San Francisco Giants have done that with Barry Bonds. I attended my first

I Didn't Know I Was A Pornographer

Two months ago I wrote a blog entry called "Interporn". It was a speculation on the issue of internet pornography.A few days ago, I was checking to see where traffic to this blog comes from. I wanted to see which keywords are leading people here. The number one keyword is not "advertising"; it's not "contrarian"; it's not "marketing" or "business" or anything to do with the advertising or

The Justification Business

Advertising today consists of two very different disciplines: Making ads, and making the justification for ads.The way ad agencies work (especially the big ones) is that most of the effort is spent making the justification for the ads -- research, planning, brand analysis, meetings, presentations, strategy sessions, briefs, conference calls, downloads, uploads, deep dives, off sites and insights

Why I Love Apple

On your right is a picture of my iPhone.I dropped it in the street. A car ran over it.It still works.Steve, I'm available for endorsements.

Hal Riney, RIP

I was once somewhere with Hal when someone asked him why he chose to work in San Francisco. His reply:"It's as far away from New York as I can get without drowning."

Marketing U

DOTAC (Daughter of the Ad Contrarian) is going to college in September, which means we went shopping for colleges this year.The best visit we had, and the school DOTAC fell in love with, followed some universal principles of marketing.First, they treated the customer right. When we arrived, they had DOTAC's schedule for the visit clearly and personally printed for her. She knew exactly what she

Snatching Defeat From Jaws Of Victory

Thanks to guest blogger John Joss for this contributionExamples of ‘new, improved’ product design of staggering stupidity that replaces a functional and effective product abound. Few examples plumb the depths of Schering-Plough’s raging incompetence with its Tinactin, an athlete’s-foot cure used by millions. Fewer are now using it, because the ‘new, improved’ packaging is deeply dysfunctional.The

Recommended Reading

A few years ago I read a book by Tony Earley called Jim the Boy. It became one of my all time favorites. Now there is a sequel called The Blue Star. It is just as good, if not better.Read them in that order.

Saving the Earth, One Pair of Pants at a Time

Great news!Got an email yesterday telling me that "Encompass Outdoor Media provides an earth-friendly alternative within its successful dry cleaning advertising network." Yes, now your ad can appear on biodegradable dry cleaning bags!Drinks are on me.(For more on this, see yesterday's post)

Let's Buy Seth A Television

From Seth Godin's blog on Monday:"...there's plenty of bad economic news floating around. From the price of oil to Wall Street to bailouts to the death of traditional advertising."The death of traditional advertising? I'm trying to watch a basketball game here and all I'm seeing is 1.9% APR on Ford half-tons.Would someone please buy Seth a television? Or a radio? Or glasses, so he can see that

Pepsi Drinking The Kool-Aid

Pepsi is going all unconventional and artsy on us.They're introducing a new beverage called Tava with websites, music downloads, "brand experiences", blah, blah, blah. In other words, the the full pantheon of over-priced, under-performing, traditional "non-traditional" marketing gimmicks.They'll be giving free samples to employees of Apple, Google and MTV. Dude, how cool is that? But wait,

The Consumer Knows Nothing

There was a time when advertisers weren't afraid to make decisions. They would trust their judgment. They wouldn't be too timid to have an opinion.Unfortunately, those days are gone. Now, every creative decision is made by "the consumer"-- i.e., research.This would be fine if there was a reliable research methodology to determine advertising effectiveness. But there isn't. I've been involved in

Straightlining

A big mistake that advertisers and marketers -- and everyone else -- makes is "straightlining."If this happened last week, last month, last year, then this is what will happen next week, next month, next year. Almost nothing moves in a straight line.The future maybe better or worse, but it is rarely what we anticipate.

Top 5 People Who Need To Just Go Away

Here are 5 people I've seen way too much of for one lifetime.First is Ralph Nader. Is there a bigger egomaniac dick anywhere outside of Hollywood?Next is Hugh Hefner: Hef, you ain't hip no more, you're pathetic. Do us all a favor, lose the girls and get yourself a cat or something.Third is Whoopi Goldberg. Has she ever said anything funny? Ever?Number Four is Pat Buchanan. Would someone please

Who's Responsible for This?

Thanks to guest blogger Roger Lewis for this advertising report from spring training.Saturday in Southwest Florida was beautiful, and we were spending the day in Hammond Stadium watching the Twins play the Red Sox. After the third inning, most of the players you'd ever heard of were on the bench and the pitchers were having a hard time finding the strike zone.It was then that the announcer said

Very Funny Comment

This comment by Jimmy Cabral about yesterday's blog is so funny I had to post it. Be sure you look at this web film/implement of torture before you read it."I thought I was going to see a wild (blueberry pie filled) 3-way with the suicidal blonde, the Armenian cab driver and "Moron" the Bell Boy? Did it happen? I fell asleep."

This Film Is Rated T For Torture

Memo to the CIA: You can now confidently put an end to waterboarding. Just make your prisoners watch this excruciating Ritz-Carlton web film. They will quickly break.Back in December, when we wrote Ritz Bits, and Web Films vs. Bagels we had a feeling the Ritz-Carlton had lost its mind. But, honestly, we had no idea it was his bad.

Don't Ya Love Research?

On the same day last week I read the following two research findings:1. A poll by We Media/Zogby Interactive showed... "Nearly half of the 1,979 people who responded to the survey said their primary source of news and information is the Internet, up from 40 percent just a year ago. Less than one third use television to get their news..."2. "According to the survey, which Hearst-Argyle president

Still Fawning Over Obama

Since my political instincts are hopeless, and since today may turn out to be the last day of the Democratic party's race for the nomination, with any luck this will be my last political post for a while.Months ago, we commented on how the media was fawning over Obama (see Words and Pictures.) Now even Democratic insiders are noticing it and expressing outrage.For some good laughs, and an example

Best Performance By A French Moron

One of the unfortunate aspects of working in advertising is that every now and then you have to come into contact with actors.Watching the Academy Awards last week (for the first time in about 25 years) it struck me that these idiots really think they're doing something important. The way they talk about their "art" you'd think they're busy developing polio vaccine. Their skill, for god's sake