Morons And Their Money

As we reported earlier this week, after conducting a 16 month study the geniuses at Comcast and Starcom MediaVest have concluded that people are more likely to watch commercials about products they're interested in. Astounding!In keeping with this insightful finding, I would like to propose the following research studies to Comcast and StarCom Mediavest:A 5-year study to confirm that sweaty feet

Imagine What They Could Have Found If They Had 17 Months

Listen up people. Here is some astounding news from the frontiers of marketing science.On Friday, The Wall Street Journal reported that after a 16 month study Comcast and Starcom MediaVest have concluded that people are more likely to watch commercials about products they're interested in.Now you may be asking yourself -- 'what kind of frickin' idiots need a 16-month research study to figure that

The Consumer Knows Nothing

There was a time when advertisers weren't afraid to make decisions. They would trust their judgment. They wouldn't be too timid to have an opinion.Unfortunately, those days are gone. Now, every creative decision is made by "the consumer"-- i.e., research.This would be fine if there was a reliable research methodology to determine advertising effectiveness. But there isn't. I've been involved in

Don't Ya Love Research?

On the same day last week I read the following two research findings:1. A poll by We Media/Zogby Interactive showed... "Nearly half of the 1,979 people who responded to the survey said their primary source of news and information is the Internet, up from 40 percent just a year ago. Less than one third use television to get their news..."2. "According to the survey, which Hearst-Argyle president

Lame Excuses

I love to pick on the research industry. They're so full of shit. They make proclamations with such certainty. And then backtrack so timidly.The researchers who were all so wrong in New Hampshire, wrong in California, wrong everywhere else this primary season are looking for reasons why they were so wrong. (Remember just a few months ago when Hillary and Rudy were locks to be the candidates? When

2012 Came Early This year

On October 23, 2007, TAC wrote an entry called "Baloney Sandwich." It said: ...Second was this piece of baloney from CNET:"A report by U.K.-based Datamonitor, titled 'The Future of Social Networking: Understanding Market Strategic and Technological Developments' predicts that growth in the number of people signing up to be a part of the

More Research Crap

According to Online Media Daily consumers are 47% more engaged in ads that run in television programs viewed on line than those watched on a TV set. The research was conducted by Simmons, a unit of Experian Research Services.Bullshit.If any other industry was as irresponsible with its claims as the research industry, they'd be thrown in jail.Here's the part I love: "The study defines "engagement"

Research Knuckleheads

Pollsters were wrong -- some by more than 10% -- in their predictions of the outcome of the Democratic primary in New Hampshire.You'd think that with all the money these guys make, and the inflated sense of importance they have, at least they could count correctly. Answering the question "how many?" is so much easier than answering the question "why?"And yet gullible marketers still rely on these

Dirty Rotten Liars

A while ago we posted something called "Research or Baloney".The subject was the unreliability of online research. Since then, the ARF (Advertising Research Foundation) has called for a study of online research.One of the points we made was that online samples are terribly unreliable because you can never know who is responding. If a sample is unreliable, the results are worthless.Now Business

Baloney Sandwich

I came across two marketing stories today that made me want to scream. Or even worse, update my blog.First from the Boston Globe. A story about how net research can explain everything in the universe."You can use online data to predict what consumers are doing across every facet of their lives," said Stephen DiMarco, chief marketing officer of Compete Inc., a Boston firm that tracks Web traffic.

Big News from Brandweek

Stop the presses! Here's some huge news. Consumers favor brands that offer them good quality at a low price! Oh my god!"The 26,000 men and women polled... showed a strong inclination to brands that either saved them money or were perceived as having good value" is how Brandweek reported it.A company called Brand Keys did the survey. Apparently, they had to poll 26,000 people to figure this out.