The Jargon Factory

Here at TAC Global Headquarters, there are some things we just can't abide. Heading the list are hypocrisy, jargon, and pizza with chicken or leafy vegetables.Today we're going to jettison some jargon. A good place to start is "The Conversation."Are you sick of "The Conversation?" Do you want to take the next moron who says it and wring his fucking neck? Take a hammer to his long tail?Good. I can

Why Copy Testing Is Bogus

"My friend shot a 158," Joe said. “That’s the worst round of golf I’ve ever heard of,” said Mike. “No it’s not. It’s a great round of golf,” said Joe. “You’re crazy,” Mike said. “How can you say that?” “He only has one arm.”I made up that little story to make a point. The point is about copy testing, and we'll get back to it in a minute.Copy testing is despised in the ad industry for a number

When Bad Things Happen to Good Campaigns

If you want to screw up a good campaign, take a terrific character and turn him into a pitch man: Exhibit 1:The Better BloggerTAC wrote a piece last week called The Bitter Blogger in which he railed against bloggers who did not include The Ad Contrarian on their blog rolls.Attentive reader The Denver Egotist noticed that TAC himself does not have a blog roll. To atone for this, TAC would now

Why Fallon Is Untrustworthy

The Wall Street Journal reports that Sony is pondering whether to give the global ad assignment for its Bravia brand of flat panel televisions to Fallon.Fallon has done a wonderful job of making Bravia a success with great advertising (see spot below.) So what's the problem?Well, Fallon may not be big enough to really fuck this thing up.You see, super-size knuckleheads really like to hang with

10 Ways to Write 5 Times Better Online Copy in 3 Easy Steps

People often say to me, "Bob, how can I be a successful online copywriter like you?" Well, I'm here to tell you that you, too, can be a famous online copywriter and make billions of dollars and have red-hot nymphos crawling all over you.What's the secret? First, you need to get some words. Without words, writing is a thankless chore. Take the Sumerians. They didn't have words. They had pictures.

Shocking Discovery From TiVo

Just when you think market researchers can't get any stupider, they exceed expectations.Last week PowerWatch -- Tivo's audience measurement service -- made this startling announcement: Consumers are more likely to watch commercials that are relevant to them.You gotta be kidding!TiVo actually studied 20,000 of their subscribers to figure this one out. I could have studied an egg salad sandwich

Why We Need To Kill Them All

On a number of occasions I've said we need to kill all account planners and start over. Here's why.Last week they had a big hoo-hah account planning conference in Miami (missed it -- had to wash my hair.)Ad Age ran a column about the high points. The conclusions from this conference are so mind-numbingly cliche-ridden that they are almost a parody of themselves.Here are a few choice excerpts